Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stop the crazy

Somali pirates vs. the U.S. Navy (good old-fashioned, get along 'lil doggy, pride-raisin' ass whoopin')

Iran and nukes

North Korea and nukes

Kim Jong-il ('nuff said)

Sunday School teacher murders eight-year old

Pissy (and apparently unstable) father of five murders all his children

Chill the f*** out. Everyone. Now.

Monday, April 13, 2009

A Situation Comedy About Office Life

I've decided the material is ripe for me to write a situational comedy about life in an office. Cubicles, smelly microwaves, bans on perfume, incompetent staff, it's all there. I just have to write it down.

For example: People eat microwave popcorn (Blast O' Butter, from the smell of it) for breakfast, lunch, afternoon pick me up and pre-drive home snack. If you hate the smell of microwave popcorn, you go talk to the HR folks about it.

Although...plot turn - the HR folks have been banned from making popcorn on their own floor, due to the vocal complaints of one astute sniffer. They now must hike down one floor to get their toxic food-flavoring fix.

What's an office worker to do?

This is truly an award-winning idea; I cannot believe no one has thought of this yet.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Transition

Maybe this happens for every soon-to-be mama, but it seems to me there has a come a point where my main focus has gone from protecting with ferocity what I see as my news, my excitement, my prerogative, beyond the decision of the type of birth I want to experience to those all-important, myriad choices of what I will actually do once this little person is here.

Now that people don't need to be told I am expecting my first child, now that the evidence of said arrival is, well, evident anytime you see me, my attention has turned to much more daunting preparations. How long will I breastfeed? Am I jiving with this attachment mothering idea? Am I already setting myself, my husband and my baby up for failure because I don't plan on having them (the baby) sleep in my bed or in one of those bed-attaching crib thingies? How can I make my traditional office job fit in around the edges of the work I actually want to be doing for the next half decade or so? If it doesn't, can I leave it without it being called "dropping out?"

Additionally, how can I shield myself and my family from the ever-increasing outside expectations of how this pregnancy and birth experience will be when those same outside forces also happen to be related to me? How do I express what I want, and is it okay to want what I want when everyone else seems to want something different?

A lot of questions for too early on a Saturday morning from one very exasperated yet hopeful mum.