Bacon. The Candy of Meats.

Do you know what happens if you google "quotes about bacon?"

I do.

The first result is an Ogden Nash quote which is actually about bacon (score one for Google).

The second result is Francis Bacon quotes (minus one for Google. Tally = zero).

Sixth down the list was my winner, "Top 10 Quotes About Bacon From Television." With that I give you...

“Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don’t panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk!” Homer, The Simpsons

My friend Anne today sent me a link to what is quite possibly the most uplifting Web site in all the land - http://bacontoday.com/.

With such headlines as "Courageous Firefighters Save Bacon Before it Happens," about two little piggies rescued from a well (wait for it...I know, funny, right?) and a recipe for Turbaconducken (Turducken wrapped in bacon, naturally), this is truly a site that has the power to bring hope and unity to a nation torn asunder.

To restore a former glory and recall a history not filled with hatred and spite, but with tolerance and forgiveness.

This, my friends, is the power of bacon.

Bow your head before it's awesomeness.









Turbaconducken

Namespotting

In order to alleviate some of the guilt I was feeling about not posting regularly because, really, my favorite thing to do with food is eat it and not write about it, I've changed the name of this blog.

Thanks to Mr. Ginsberg's quote up there at the top, I now also don't feel so crummy about my readership, which I am pretty sure consists of my mom.

Thanks, Mom.

I Heart Ideas For the Blog

A month or so back I was frustrated with myself for not taking the time to update this blog more often, so I decided to take advantage of a slow period during the work day (i.e. I was bored of working) to write down a list of things that I'd like to write about.

Still haven't actually written ABOUT any of them, so I thought at the very least I could post the list here. Then it's kind of like writing about them, right?

* Why I like wearing shoes with heels: What it is like to be short

* How I became an obsessive bread baker

* Jamming (as in making some and putting it in a jar, sans botulism)

* The Olympia Farmer's Market: Real life food porn

* The high importance email epidemic - or people who think everything is of the utmost importance (to the guy at the deli: I WAS NOT cutting in front of you so don't get snippy with me, you looked to be in line with the woman in front of me, seeing as how you were digging in her purse and all)

* How annoyed I was at the short-lived corn processors association commercials trying to convince me that high fructose corn syrup is GOOD for me because it is made from corn and all natural. Uranium is all natural and you don't see people drinking that in their juice boxes.

Why I don't have an iPhone

Yesterday my new mobile phone arrived...and along with it a healthy dose of do-goodedness and fight the man power.

I switched from Verizon Wireless, a company I'd been with for many years, to Credo Mobile. Credo is a progressive company that donates 1% of all charges to progressive causes. I've known about Credo for a number of years now, but only made the decision to switch when I saw one of their bus wraps supporting gay marriage.

I received great customer service from Verizon; when a sicko from one of my jobs took the internal office phone list home and started making disgusting phone calls to all the young women, Verizon changed my number immediately for free and did not give my old number to anyone else. They even tracked down the phone that the calls came from, but it ended up being a pay phone somewhere in east King County.

However, my husband and I are not heavy cell minute users and if I'm going to be paying more for cell service than I think I need to pay, I'm at least going to try and do some good in the world.

Plus, I wanted a smartphone and Credo had cheap web access plans.

Truth be told, I'd like an iPhone, but I disagree with AT&T's political giving, so scratch that idea.

The importance of one's own notebook

To try and stay within an acceptable range of sanity while at work, I went out a month or so ago and bought myself one of those cool, creative-yet-tortured-soul moleskine notebooks. The idea behind the purchase was that I'll have a place to jot down notes of a more personal nature while at work and not run the risk of forgetting to tear the page out of the notebook I use for my job.

Things like my notes for my novel, crazy dreams I have while snoozing at my desk that one day may turn into my novel, ideas for awesome outfits I could wear for the author photo for my novel.

So far, I've written down a lot of grocery lists, titles of books I've heard about and want to read, the model and serial number of our furnace and the measurements of several walls in our house that could potentially fit a bar/sideboard. Not the most creative use, but you can't rush true genius.

It should be noted that I've also used the notebook (which is a flip-style notebook, much like a reporter would use) to jot down random, incoherent notes while dining at a restaurant in order to get better service because I look like a food writer. It works. You should try it.

Anyway, the importance to me of having this notebook that fits so perfectly into every single one of my purses is that there are no restrictions on what I can and cannot write down. Sure, I've kept journals in the past, but I put such a pressure on myself to write pithy, journal-worthy entries that eventually I gave up from the sheer exhaustion of feeling like I needed to document every little nuanced feeling I'd had over the last six months since I had last written. It got to be too much, especially on those days that I felt like my biggest accomplishment was just that my alarm clock went off 14 hours ago.

This notebook, with it's smooth black cover, grid-lined pages, handy pocket in the back and elastic band to hold it all together, means that my shopping lists, dinner plans and to-do lists fit in perfectly with hastily scrawled book titles, online log-in information, notes on what I like about my life and important dates to remember.

Some entries are dated, some I flip back to often, but all of them mattered to me at some point and none of them have to do with work.

Except for one page. I'd forgotten to bring my regular work notebook with me to a meeting out of the office and, in a moment of craziness, used this one. I regret that page and, had I not written personal notes on the flip side of the page, would have torn it out long ago. I regret that page.

I have a cell phone, a Blackberry, always on Internet and a calendar that sends reminders to my computer, Blackberry and cell phone...but this black notebook makes my day-to-day life more manageable.

Too Little, Too Late

Okay, okay, I GET it. Everyone will know your food is serious and better than all other food if you serve it in ridiculously small portions on ridiculously oversized dishes. If you hadn't put such a miniscule amount of food in front of me, I may very well have gone to get a soda refill at the soda machine and some ketchup in a little plastic packet.

Give me a break.

I like to eat at all kinds of restaurants and I understand that, occasionally, that will mean dining at a white tablecloth, small portion establishment. At those certain establishments, I expect small, visible portions and service that is, well, at least existent.

Enter Acqua Via in Olympia.

The little sister of established favorite Waterstreet Cafe, Acqua Via opened last year in a former Quizno's space on Capitol Way in Olympia.

My first meal at Acqua Via was a Saturday brunch (which is no longer served). Portions were small but respectable and the service was decent. The food tasted good - good enough for a city that is just starting to understand the cash cow that is the brunch crowd.

I've had a few meals at Acqua Via since then - all of them lunches during work. One was with a group of eight but usually there are two or three of us sitting down to nosh.

The most recent meal compelled me to write this review.

Dear Hubby and I went down to Acqua Via for a nice lunch during work, taking the table that is just around the corner from the main dining area.

And in that simple choice lay our first mistake. It's possible we may have been forgotten once our waters and menus were in front of us. After 20 minutes, I even made a slow saunter past the wait station and cash register on my way to the restroom - no such luck.

When someone did appear to take our orders, we, being former restaurant/food service workers and ever cognisant of the plight of the waitstaff, ordered quickly without asking any silly questions, such as, "how much cheese comes with this appetizer?" Mistake number two.

When the appetizer (essentially a duck pancetta wrapped around two small slices of bread with gorgonzola on the side) arrived at exactly the same time as our meals, our first reaction was, "someone accidentally dropped a few crumbles of cheese while plating someone else's order," which soon turned to, "you have got to be freaking kidding me."

(By the way, you are all now witness to my first photo uploaded to this blog. Joyous celebration ensues!)

So, we eat the cheese. And are, of course, still hungry so we eat our meals.

We finally (after over an hour of sitting at the table, most of it spent waiting for someone to take our order and deliver our food) head over to the cash register to pay and, lo and behold! He speaks! Our waiter, at the time of judgment, actually became conversational and, dare I say it, warm.

I know that prisoners about to face execution can experience the same sort of rebirth - but come on, this is LUNCH we are talking about. You've got to be on the boat the entire trip for it to count.

Alas, dear Hubster and I, as I mentioned earlier, are sympathetic to the cause, and so we tip well. Although we did exact some revenge - 18 percent instead of 20 percent.

That'll teach 'em.

Acqua Via
Not the greatest Web site; hasn't been updated since before the opening. Best used for finding your way to the restaurant.

Fat DOES taste good

It's that little nagging whisper living in the back of your brain, it's the little twinge you feel each time you open the fridge in an attempt to quell your hunger...and it's the truth.

Fat DOES taste good. It makes blah food good and good food fantastic. Add butter to your pasta sauce - gourmet! Top that broccoli with some cheese - magnificent! Eat Ben and Jerry's rather than frozen yogurt - heavenly!

Fat DOES taste good - and once my husband and I realized this in a more than butter-tastes-better-than-I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter sort of way, the world of food became a much more interesting place to us. To put it short, we are probably food snobs. I care where my food comes from, how it is prepared and how it tastes when it gets to me. No matter if I buy it at a grocery store chain, a local farmers market or order it at a restaurant, food production is very serious business to me.

To all things food.